i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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