He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
