You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
