Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
