wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
