I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You can't special order awesome
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
