Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
