My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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