i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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