My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
