so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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