So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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