Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Do vagina's smell?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
