Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
