Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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