The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
