Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
