im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
