Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
YAS. BRING CRAB.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
