I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
