literally had 100 drinks last night.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Success! We fucked roommates!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
