I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
