if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
