3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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