thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
