Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize