my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
