Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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