I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
