Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
