Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He better not be in your backpack
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
