the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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