wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
