You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
