my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
