It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she woke up with a sticky ear
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
