There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
