Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
