Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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