At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
