there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
