Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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