normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
