its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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