Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
