she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
