I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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