He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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