I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
