I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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