Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
